On Saturday, two friends and I decided to make a trip to the Renaissance Festival, known for its food, shows and artisan crafts.
Though it's located out in the styx, the festival draws large crowds of all ages and types.
And I mean all types.
One of the most amusing parts of the festival is looking at the costumes of the other patrons. Many come dressed in Renaissance-style garb, but others wear fairy-tale creature costumes. I even saw a Loki from Thor.
While costumes are common, all are welcomed. I didn't feel weird being there in my street clothes even though many people had dressed up. Those who don't wear costumes aren't made to feel excluded at all. That's awesome.
The vendors and performers are invariably costumed, and many try not to break character. I heard a lot of pseudo-English accents. Some were better than others. Some didn't try at all.
The fire whip guy was notable for his lack of accent. I'm afraid I don't have any pictures for you. The camera on my iPhone doesn't take good action shots. You can find a video here, though, which shows the same performance. Down to some of the same jokes. Like the crack about girls knowing how to use a whip. That was a pun. Get it? His name is Adam Crack. A crack? A joke? I made a joke about a joke! Ha. Haha. Haaa.
Oh God, I'm sorry. No more jokes from me.
Anyway, he was probably my favorite performer. His jokes were witty and he was a really gifted harmonica player, in addition to being a guy-who-does-dangerous-things-for-the-amusement-of-strangers. The performance did leave me with one question: doesn't all the Axe body spray make you EXTRA-flammable, fire whip guy?
We also saw a joust, some knife-throwers and some comedians who ate mud.
All of the shows are free, though many of the performers ask for donations.
Admission to the festival, however, is NOT free. In fact, it will run you about $26. There are no discounts if you wear a costume. On the way there, Matt, Linda and I noticed a gas station advertising discount tickets (which still cost $21). It seems like any way you go, you'll be paying at least $20 for admission.
And speaking of money, you'll want to bring some with you.
Predictably, the food was my very favorite part.
The selection reminded me of the fair. There's a lot of food from many genres at varying prices. There was even a cafe with a really impressive wine menu. Over the course of our day, I had coffee, a turkey leg, an apple dumpling and an empanada. All of it was tasty. In other words, I had a really good day.
Lightning round!
WARNING: OBSCENE LANGUAGE
The performances are largely uncensored. Some bad language creeps in, but most of the ribald jokes seem written to go over the kids' heads. Ribaldry is rather notably connected to the Renaissance period — just go read Chaucer sometime— so it's all part of the fun.
WARNING: PARTIAL NUDITY
Some of the costumes are really skimpy. It didn't bother me, but I know it's the sort of thing that some people get offended by, so it's best to warn you here. Like, three fig leaves skimpy. Or chainmail bra skimpy. Bellydancer tops are big there.
RUN DATE - ANNUALLY DURING THE FALL.
CAN I BRING MY KIDS?
Yes, but pay attention to the warnings above.
 |
| These festival-goers chose to come costumed as foxes. I'm sure anyone and everyone took this as an opportunity to ask them what the fox says. |
While costumes are common, all are welcomed. I didn't feel weird being there in my street clothes even though many people had dressed up. Those who don't wear costumes aren't made to feel excluded at all. That's awesome.
The vendors and performers are invariably costumed, and many try not to break character. I heard a lot of pseudo-English accents. Some were better than others. Some didn't try at all.
The fire whip guy was notable for his lack of accent. I'm afraid I don't have any pictures for you. The camera on my iPhone doesn't take good action shots. You can find a video here, though, which shows the same performance. Down to some of the same jokes. Like the crack about girls knowing how to use a whip. That was a pun. Get it? His name is Adam Crack. A crack? A joke? I made a joke about a joke! Ha. Haha. Haaa.
Oh God, I'm sorry. No more jokes from me.
Anyway, he was probably my favorite performer. His jokes were witty and he was a really gifted harmonica player, in addition to being a guy-who-does-dangerous-things-for-the-amusement-of-strangers. The performance did leave me with one question: doesn't all the Axe body spray make you EXTRA-flammable, fire whip guy?
We also saw a joust, some knife-throwers and some comedians who ate mud.
 |
| Here, during the knife-throwing show, Matt was picked from the audience to "be a victim" and have a knife thrown at him by a pretty girl in a low-cut dress. I was intensely jealous. One of the things I most wanted out of this experience was to have a knife thrown at me. No one threw a knife at me. |
Admission to the festival, however, is NOT free. In fact, it will run you about $26. There are no discounts if you wear a costume. On the way there, Matt, Linda and I noticed a gas station advertising discount tickets (which still cost $21). It seems like any way you go, you'll be paying at least $20 for admission.
And speaking of money, you'll want to bring some with you.
 |
| One of the kiosks was selling little rubber dragons that you could wrap around your arm like a bracelet. Because I have no impulse control, I bought one, which I named Spike. Spike now lives on the corner of my desk.
The festival is full of kiosks and shops that sell all sorts of things, from artisanal products to food and alcohol. The items run from expensive (I saw one sword that cost $2,000) to fairly cheap. Some vendors will bargain with you. There are all kinds of cool things available, like jewelry and special candles to lotion and clothes. There were a lot of leather products, I noticed.
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| A glassblower at work. I liked the contrast between this artist's modern tools and his Renaissance garb. The festival was full of anachronisms. But the atmosphere is really laid back, so it's okay. |
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| There were lots of leather things. |
There were also a lot of weapons for sale. My friend Matt bought a cane that unscrewed to become a little sword (a steal at $40!), and my friend Linda bought some daggers. I have enough problems without increasing the number of pointy things I own, so I went home weaponless.
Predictably, the food was my very favorite part.
 |
| An apple dumpling I had at the Renaissance Festival. It was served warm, with vanilla ice cream. |
Lightning round!
WARNING: OBSCENE LANGUAGE
The performances are largely uncensored. Some bad language creeps in, but most of the ribald jokes seem written to go over the kids' heads. Ribaldry is rather notably connected to the Renaissance period — just go read Chaucer sometime— so it's all part of the fun.
WARNING: PARTIAL NUDITY
Some of the costumes are really skimpy. It didn't bother me, but I know it's the sort of thing that some people get offended by, so it's best to warn you here. Like, three fig leaves skimpy. Or chainmail bra skimpy. Bellydancer tops are big there.
RUN DATE - ANNUALLY DURING THE FALL.
CAN I BRING MY KIDS?
Yes, but pay attention to the warnings above.
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